HUMILITY IN MARRIAGE

CASE STUDY ON AHAB AND JEZEBEL

ABOUT AHAB

• He was an idol worshipper and to add insult to injury he married Jezebel. (1 Kings 16:30-31)
• He raised up altars unto Baal based on the influence of his wife. (1 Kings 16:31-33)
• He did not take responsibility to his own actions and so he blamed Elijah for Israel’s state. (1Kings 18:17)
• He showed to be a weak a self-pitying king in the scenario with Naboth. (1Kings 21)
• The death of an innocent man was laid to his charge and his Judgement by God was severe.(1 Kings 21:19-26)
• He humbles himself before God and the destruction of his dynasty was delayed until after his death. 1 Kings (27-29)

ABOUT JEZEBEL

• She followed in the footsteps of her father Ethbaal, a priest of Baal.
• She was murderous, she cut off the prophets of the Lord  (1 Kings 8:4) and set up altars unto Baal.
• When she heard what happened on Mount Carmel, instead of acknowledging God’s awesome power, she was angry and made an oath to kill Elijah. (1 Kings 19:1-2)
• In the situation with Naboth, she sent letters in her husband’s name to set an evil plot in motion. She was manipulative, conniving, deceptive, forceful in seeing to the fulfillment of her agenda. (1 Kings 21:8-15)
  • Her name is mentioned in Revelations 2:20 – Ellicott’s Commentary for English readers –”It seems best to view the name as symbolical, always remembering that the Jezebel spirit of proud, self-constituted authority, vaunting claims of superior holiness, or higher knowledge, linked with a disregard of—and perhaps a proud contempt for—“legalism,” and followed by open immorality, has again and again run riot in the churches of God.” (https://biblehub.com/commentaries/revelation/2-20.htm}

Let’s Look at Ahab and Jezebel’s Marriage

• A weak, immature man allowed his strong domineering wife to run the home and strongly influence a nation.
• He was able at one point to humble himself before God but when it came to his wife, he was not humble but simply weak to her. If Ahab was truly humble his wife would not have been able to do the things she did.
• Jezebel had absolutely no mark of humility hence her behavior. This can be understood though based on who her daddy was, and she had no regard Israel’s God.

God’s Charge to Husbands

 Ephesians 5 AMP
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church, Himself being the Savior of the body.  25 Husbands, love your wives [seek the highest good for her and surround her with a caring, unselfish love], just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word [of God], 27 so that [in turn] He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy [set apart for God] and blameless. 28 Even so husbands should and are morally obligated to love their own wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined [and be faithfully devoted] to his wife, and the two shall become [e]one flesh. 32 This mystery [of two becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of] Christ and the church. 33 However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], …………

Colossians 3AMP
19 Husbands, love your wives [with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them] and do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage].

1 Peter 3AMP
7 In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with [c]someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective.

God’s Charge to Wives

1 Peter 3 AMP
3 In the same way, you wives, be [a]submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God, and so partnering with them] so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives, 2 when they see your modest and respectful behavior [together with your devotion and appreciation—love your husband, encourage him, and enjoy him as a blessing from God]. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; 4 but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands and adapting themselves to them; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham [following him and having regard for him as head of their house], calling him [b]lord. And you have become her daughters if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear [that is, being respectful toward your husband but not giving in to intimidation, nor allowing yourself to be led into sin, nor to be harmed].

Ephesians 5 AMP
22 Wives, be subject [d]to your own husbands, as [a service] to the Lord.
 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands in everything [respecting both their position as protector and their responsibility to God as head of the house].
. 33 ………and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].

Colossians 3 AMP
18 Wives, be [a]subject to your husbands [out of respect for their position as protector, and their accountability to God], as is proper and [b]fitting in the Lord.

Pride the enemy of humility

A prideful husband is often selfish, insensitive, competitive, tends to talk down, is unsupportive, critical, mocking, insulting, plays victim when corrected, can be argumentative, plays blame game well. If husband is a narcissist, its all of the above to the hundredth degree.

When a wife is prideful, she is often stubborn, defiant, disrespectful and dishonoring, insulting, very argumentative, manipulative, controlling and rebellious.

Humble spouses

A truly humble husband is loving, supportive, protective, caring, tender, forgiving, sacrificial not abusive, not dictatorial, doesn’t play blame game like Adam, owns up to sins, errors.

A truly humble wife is submissive, loving, compassionate, supportive, respectful, industrious (she is too busy attending to her family she has no time for gossip and idleness), id not argumentative nor nagging, understands that there is also strength in silence. Doesn’t play blame game like Eve but owns up to sins and errors.

Humility in marriage

It causes wisdom to flow, love to flow, gives ease in communication, if errors made there is forgiveness and a moving on, not condemnation nor stagnancy. Humility in our marriages leads to deeper love and facilitates awesome intimacy both with God and your spouse!